The Benefits of Heartache

A broken heart. Not much is more painful than that. I receive many calls throughout the year from people wanting to forget that a particular person even existed. Unfortunately, that’s not the way to get over a past relationship. There is no magic potion that will take that pain away.

Most people think pain needs to be avoided, however, some pain is useful if we give it a chance. It opens us up raw and gives us a chance to grow. As the rawness heals, we get to decide what we’re going to move ahead with – fear or love.

It’s scary for most people to go through change, but we can find our braveness by commanding it. Even though we might not have control over what is happening, there are certain things we can control. For example, our fitness. Many of us have felt depressed over the loss of love at one time or another and probably decided to wallow in it. Instead of doing that, we can take control of our bodies – this will help us process our emotions and mental clutter. We gain emotional strength when we get physically fit.

A person can wallow in the past memories of a broken relationship repeatedly or a we can feed our minds information and spirituality. We can use the pain and sadness to connect with ourselves in a deeper way and evolve a better person. (This is why it is so difficult for some people to move on – because they connect with themselves which is meeting their need for connection.)

The only way out of this darkness is to have something else to connect to. What do you value more than the pain? Perhaps you would like to volunteer to help people or animals? By shifting the focus off of the self and onto something else, we learn how to move on.
Shock, denial, hurt and anger. These are the emotions we must move through in order to expand our ability to love. Once we move through these, we can come to acceptance and peace.

By using heartache to find more meaning, we have the chance to take better control of our lives. Rather than becoming a reaction, we can empower ourselves to move forward gracefully and with more ease.

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